Act One
Scene One
[Lights come up on Chris
Her head in a bathroom sink
Splashing water in her face]
CHRIS
Is she worth it? Of course, of course she’s worth it.
[Dries face. Looks up just as
Girl walks in]
LEAH
Chris?
CHRIS
Oh shit
LEAH
What are you doing in the girl’s bathroom?
CHRIS
Well, um [beat] you remember that party where we met?
Scene Two
[Music Plays: Plays: Giselle- Short Dick Man]
[Continues Scene 1
CHRIS and LUCY are sitting at a party
Watching]
GISELLE
(Sings) Don’t want no short dick man.
(CHRIS and LUCY stare at each other)
CHRIS
Remind me why we wanted to come to this party?
LUCY
Because our normal Saturday activities involve us sitting in our dorm room alone.
CHRIS
Oh yea.
VOICE from OFFSTAGE
OMG Jimmy Fallon is the new Chris Rock.
CHRIS
I want to go back to our dorm.
LUCY
Just give it some time. Our entire class is here, there must be someone with an IQ over their alcohol blood level here.
CHRIS
[Audible sigh]
LUCY
I’m gonna go get us some drinks. Try a smile; you’re gonna scare away all the ladies.
CHRIS
Pah, yea. Right. It’s a lesbian paradise.
[Exit LUCY
Stage left]
[Yells after her] Hey if you see Ellen DeGeneres give her my number!
[Enter LEAH
Stage right]
LEAH
I love Ellen.
[CHRIS turns surprised]
Though I’m not sure if I love Ellen as much as I love Lucy. [Laughs]
CHRIS
It’s definitely a tight race.
LEAH
[gestures toward the chair next to CHRIS] Do you need a partner?
CHRIS
Do I. Wait… what?
LEAH
On your bench, may I sit with you?
CHRIS
Of course, of course.
LEAH
I’m Leah
CHRIS
Chris.
LEAH
I’ve never seen you before.
CHRIS
I just transferred in from Michigan at the beginning of the year.
LEAH
Why’d you come here?
CHRIS
Well my last school didn’t support homo [beat] erectus, yea their classes were very creation oriented and as an aspiring anthropologist one has to be open to the theory of evolution and other cultural creation myths to really function in the discipline.
LEAH
That’s terrible. Y’know, our parents force us to go to these religious private schools and they don’t even considered that maybe we’re not Christian.
CHRIS
Yea, like Christian is just something that you’re born as, like your sex or something.
LEAH
[laughs] Congratulation on the new baby, the balloon reads, “It’s a Lutheran!”
[They laugh]
You know I’m a big fan of homo erectus.
CHRIS
Really!? Oh I mean, yea, they’re pretty amazing specimen.
LEAH
Yea, and the whole “God” theory lacks any firm evidence.
CHRIS
It’s not that it lacks evidence, the problem is the human factor in the evidence itself. The Bible is written by humans, therefore it can only be as reliable as any other historical evidence we might find.
LEAH
Exactly. Why should we believe something just because someone else tells us to?
[Enter Lucy]
LUCY
Hey guys.
CHRIS
Hey Luce, have you met Leah?
LUCY
I’ve seen her around.
LEAH
I’m sorry, am I preoccupying your date?
CHRIS
Date? No.
LUCY
Oh, no sweetie. Chris and I are just friends.
LEAH
Oh, sorry, I just assumed. [beat] Well I should get going.
LUCY
You don’t have to get up.
LEAH
Oh no, sit down. Really, I should find my friend. She’ll kill me if she thinks I ditched her.
[Starts to go and turns]
If you still need someone to show you around, there’s a Natural History Museum downtown. We could make a day of it.
CHRIS
Yea, sounds great.
LEAH
You should bring him around more often, Lucy. It’s nice to have an actual conversation at one of these parties.
LUCY
Oh yea, for sure.
[LEAH EXITS]
LUCY
[Watching her leave] What was that?
CHRIS
She just came over and sat down.
LUCY
I leave for two minutes to find drinks and Leah Weber, the girl you’ve been crushing all over since you got here just sits down next to you and invites you to go sightseeing?
CHRIS
I didn’t say the situation was believable.
LUCY
Not unless you’re leaving out the beginning at which you barter your soul to the devil. And did she say bring “him” around more often.
CHRIS
Yea, she might have thought I was a guy.
LUCY
And you didn’t correct her.
CHRIS
I wasn’t sure at first.
LUCY
And you wouldn’t want her to lose interest.
CHRIS
I panicked.
LUCY
[Beat] Fuck it, you’re a dude.
CHRIS
I can’t just be a dude.
LUCY
For a date with Leah Weber I would be a Scottish terrier, if that’s what she was into. I’m tired of people like us never getting the girl.
CHRIS
There’s just a few things I do have and one big thing I don’t have.
this was refreshing in it's sitcom-esque quality. Leah's assumption of Chris being a man really had me going, because it was humorous but also made me question what else in society we take for granted. to borrow a cliche term- looks CAN be decieving, and apparently so can attitude. it's somewhat disheartening to see Chris consider faking a "bulge" to get a date with the woman of her dreams...what else would we do to our physical appearance to please others? (Hello Dr. Michael Grey!) I wonder if Leah had found out that Chris was female, would she consider dating a woman? After all, she had been attracted in many ways to Chris and even enjoyed their brief physical intimacy. Theres a competition between desire and logic, or moral perhaps, here: what more do we leave unexperienced simply because we, our minds or society, don't consider it an option?
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly the response I was going for, exciting. I'm still working on how to unfold the big reveal at the end- trying to figure out exactly who Leah's character is and how exactly she would handle finding out her boyfriend is a girl. I think her perspective on the world will make for an interesting perspective.
DeleteIf you had any ideas (or anyone reading this) I'd love to hear them.
It was very fun being involved in this, I liked it a lot. You did a wonderful job of accomplishing your task; addressing issues of identity, sexuality, as well as expectations, or just love/lust in general. Kay made some great points above, it's very interesting to think about what kind of societal constraints impact our desires and/or behavior. Do they? Should we let them? To what degree? It raises questions about construction of identity, honesty? Is it worth it to be something you're not in order to get what you want? Is the result the same? You addressed all of these issues in a humorous way. Bravo!
ReplyDelete-Emily Riopelle
There was more to this, was there not? It's a fun and challenging piece, regardless, and I actually think the casting and acting was rather well done, especially considering the fact that it was all put together on such short notice. I feel invested in these characters, and that's a testament to the confident, well-observed writing. I'm looking forward to witnessing the progression of this piece, Melissa, and I hope I'll get to see more before the end of the semester.
ReplyDeleteI like what Kay had to say about the manifestation/consideration of options; how we're all limited by our perceptions of right and wrong. Often these perceptions are programmed into us from a very early age, and don't accurately represent the feelings we will later develop after thoughtful, experience-inspired deliberations. As a young man entering into the real world in the late '80s, I was confronted by manifestations of many ugly, hateful pre-conceptions, and, only after applying my own rigorous, reality-based considerations, did I come out on the wiser side of them. I think this work has what it takes to inspire in someone a like transformation, and that's a fantastic and commendable thing. Nice job.
Let's put it simply, you are an extremely talented writer. You pay very close attention to the characters and dialogue which translates richly to the audience. In comparison to your last performance, you seem really connected to this piece. Not to say that you were disconnected from your last piece but it felt like you really enjoyed this one. As Jill said in class your dialogue was really crisp and sharp. A feature that I think we all should strive for in our own performances. Your Beckett-esque exchanges in dialogue and conversation were for me the highlight of your piece. I would definitely use that to my advantage if I were you. that component will never run out of steam. As far as the sitcom feel goes for me, I think it can be a great vehicle to get some really thoughtful works through. Like last time, great piece!
ReplyDeleteJonah